Week 55 - San Roque 7/2/2012

so this week has been really good Tuesday i gave a training as always and then we went to the church later in the after noon after study and were there for about 5 hours and then left at about 6:30 and went to teach the family of the guy that died before because they are still here and they don't go to church so we shared with them and gave them a new Book of Mormon since theirs are all in Manila but it was good and they asked for us to come back then Wednesday changed me big time we had exchanges with the zone leaders and i got to work with our new zone leader elder Whitmore he is from Las Vegas but he is an amazing missionary we found 8 potential investigators and taught two of them one was and amazing the lesson the girl we started focusing on about half way through really got it and then she even committed to baptism if she learned the BofM was true i was so excited then her mom came home and told us we were wasting our time and not to come back so we tried talking to her to try to change her mind but her heart was just so set on not listening to us it didn't matter and when she started telling me that what i was teaching doesn't matter because it wont save anyone so i bore testimony and so did elder Whitmore and then she started to move the subject away from her and told us we should focus on teaching catholic people because she already accepted Christ and then i had a really bad experience with anger and it turned into a really bad a situation when i told her she was judging other people not good and i just became really sarcastic and started laughing as she would contradict herself and it turned really bad and we ended up just leaving but luckily elder Whitmore was there to help me out a bit and told me that actually happens a lot and i will learn to be able to teach those people and not lose my cool its a lot more difficult than teaching members but i really like it luckily the rest of our lessons ended up good and we got to teach a family whose dad is on disciplinary from the church and turns out we shouldnt have but i felt really good about it and they came to church and are having family prayer again but im not aloud to go back so then the good part of our day every time we have excanges we have whats called an F.M.E.R its a missionary self-evaluation and the leader is supposed to help and encourage and give help and Elder Whitmore is amazing i totally opened up and told him something that has been on my mind a lot lately and it was really good because i have been really feeling like i am going to transfer here in about 3 weeks and i really don't want to i have seen what can happen to a branch after it has disobedient missionaries and i dont want that to happen to any area here in Tolosa i love these people so much and they are just starting to grow on their own and doing their own thing and then elder talked to me about things that i have seen and maybe what areas need help right now and i told him what i've seen and he took notes and is going on exchanges with a few of them this week then i started crying a little bit and he asked me what the problem was and i told him i really dont want to leave because this has become my home i told him i have been thinking a lot lately about it and i dont really want to go home i have so much more to do to help people here than i feel like i ever did back home and i just feel like if i leave then the members cant just text me if they need a blessing or if they need help around the house and i talked for about and hour and finally i just stopped and he asked me what he could do to help me and i said im not sure but luckily he knew and he offered to give me a blessing and it was one of the most amazing things i have ever heard in my life he told me that God is happy with what i have done here in tolosa but its my time to go because He has more for me to do somewhere else and that those feelings i have for these people is just what the Gospel has done to me and i will be able to feel that no matter where i go and i was totally crying by this point then he finished and told me not to worry and that nothing would happen to my area and he closed and i gave elder Whitmore a hug and i dont think i have slept so well in a really long time even though it was only for about 4 hours and then thursday i got elder apat in the morning and went home and during personal study read my patriarchal blessing and cried again i never realized how much of it had already happened and just started thinking if its already starting then everything else will happen to and i just felt Gods love so strong and everything i have been doing lately i just always feel his love its so cool even though im super busy now trying to make sure everything is ready for when i leave we even started picking names for some one to replace me as councilor but before i told my branch president i was transfering he thought i was kidding because i tell him that all the time and then he joked to and said your not going anywhere your here forever your going to get married here and i just laughed and then told him i was serious and he is a little afraid but im just showing him that he can do it by letting him do a lot more so that he learns faster then we have been having a good time being able to go to seminary every once in a while now that i actually enjoy seminary but ya so then i had a good reactivation activity yesterday even though it rained and i got soaked and only like 10 people came instead of the whole branch but i visited tons of people i have never met before and its going to be amazing these last few weeks well i want you all to know i love you all and never really felt like i did before i got to the mission and now i feel really bad because now that i truly feel this love for you all i cant show it but there will be time when i go home next year but until then im just going to keep going and trying to be the best example i possibly can and keep serving thank you